Restoration
by Melian1001
Summary: This story takes place after Endgame. It explores an alternative to the death of Marcus. There is a substory involving Lyta and Zack. Desire comments about characterization. Ending has been reworked.
1. Part 1

Author's Note:

This story was based on speculation about Endgame. It was written July 1997 before I had ever see Endgame. Now that I have, there are a few contradictions, but since this is an alternative universe, they are minor enough that it will only annoy the purists, but I can't imagine purists reading fan fic anyway. I did make a couple of adjustments so the introductory information would line up with the now known facts about Endgame.

Restoration

by Melian

Disclaimer: All the B5 characters in this story belong to JMS. I am only borrowing them for fun, not $. No infringement on the copyright intended.

Dedication: This story is for all of us who like to do mental rewrites when a story does not go in the direction we would like it to go.

Historical Note: This story takes place after Endgame.

Part 1

Dr. Stephen Franklin knew there was no hope. Commander Susan Ivanova had been sent back to Babylon 5 to die. He had been receiving reports on her condition while on the mission. She would not regain consciousness before she slipped away, but he had planned to sit with her through those final moments...if only he could get there in time. Now he knew he had to hurry, not just for Susan's sake, but because Marcus had hacked his way into the medical records about the alien healing machine. He hoped he would be on time to stop the tragedy. As the ship docked he received confirmation of his worst fears.

"Don't touch anything! I'll be right there!"

Stephen arrived in Medlab breathless from his long sprint. His staff quickly filled him in as they hurried to Medlab 2. The Medlab orderlies were sprawled unconscious on the floor. Dr Hobbs and the staff were attending to them.

"Oh dear God! Marcus, Marcus, can you hear me?"

Susan Ivanova groaned and opened her eyes at the sound of Stephen's voice. There wasn't a part of her body that didn't hurt. She looked toward Stephen and saw Marcus strapped into the machine. He was next to her, slumped over and pale as death. Susan's chest tightened and she felt like she couldn't breathe. She watched as Stephen and a technician removed Marcus and laid him on the floor. Stephen slapped on his comlink to summon help. Almost immediately two technicians arrived with a rolling bed and wheeled Marcus out to Medlab 3, with Stephen rushing after them.

Susan wasn't sure what this meant, but she was determined to find out. She forced herself off the bed and staggered in the direction of Medlab 3. As she entered the room she saw Stephen hovering over Marcus who was hooked up to life support.

"Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?" Susan demanded.

"Susan!...Well I guess this wasn't for nothing after all."

"What are you talking about, Stephen? What's happened?" Susan asked shakily.

"You'd better sit down in that chair over there. You shouldn't be walking around."

Susan limped over to the chair and sank down wearily. Stephen left Marcus and sat in the chair next to Susan.

"This isn't going to be easy to explain, Susan," Stephen began.

"Just give it to me straight, Stephen. The last thing I remember was that I felt I was dying."

"You were."

"Then how did I...Marcus!...The machine....Why the hell would he do a thing like that?"

"I thought it was pretty obvious. He loved you, Susan."

"That's impossible. He told me he was in love with someone else."

"Well, I don't know what he told you, I only know what I saw when I came into Medlab 2. He's given up his life energy to save your life. I've got him hooked to life support, but I can't resuscitate him. There isn't any brain activity, either. He's gone, Susan."

Susan felt as if she'd been punched in the stomach. When she spoke it was barely more than a whisper.

"What are you going to do now?"

"Since Marcus is a registered organ donor, I'm going to put the body in cryo until I can determine which people on the station and in the medical registry could benefit from his donation. His sacrifice will give life and hope to others besides you."

This was more than Susan could bear. She felt so helpless, and so angry. She flew into a rage of grief aimed at Stephen, President Clark, the machine, and especially Marcus. As Marcus' body lay quietly on the bed, she ranted and cursed at the top of her voice, drawing the attention of everyone in the corridor. In the middle of the tirade she began to laugh hysterically. When she started weeping, Stephen drew her into his arms and held her, speaking softly while stroking her hair. It was at this moment that Lyta walked in.

She looked a little nervous, but approaching Susan and Stephen she asked, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not unless you can raise the dead," Susan replied bitterly.

Lyta looked over at Marcus' body so still on the bed. She felt drawn to the source of Susan's pain and sadness. She walked over to the bed removed her gloves, and absently pushed back a strand of Marcus' hair that had fallen over his face. She felt a strange sensation in her mind. In her Vorlon enhanced state she realized something that Stephen couldn't know.

"He's not completely gone, Stephen. I'm still getting a vague impression of his thoughts....it's almost like he's communicating from a distant place."

Susan rose from the chair and walked numbly to where Lyta stood. Lyta was holding Marcus' hand and concentrating very hard. Susan took Marcus' other hand, but it only felt like death to her. She knew Lyta was sincere, but it hardly seemed possible.

"He's drifting away from me. He doesn't seem to want to come back."

Susan leaned across the bed and threw her hands on top of Lyta's hands. Instantly she felt a strange sensation.

"Come back to me Marcus, come back" (come back)

At that moment she saw him. He was standing on a path he had been walking down. He turned in surprise and looked at her.

Susan ran down the path to Marcus. She was so happy she hugged him, then she hit him.

(What were you thinking, Cole? How could you leave me like that?)

(Susan, what are you doing here -- you should be on the station, getting well. I have to go, Susan. I can't stay any longer.)

(Why can't you stay, Marcus?)

(I don't have the strength.)

"He's definitely still here. Susan is communicating with him now," Lyta said quietly.

Stephen looked at Susan. Her eyes were closed, and she had a look of total concentration on her face. Stephen knew he couldn't keep Marcus on life support indefinitely. He had to make some decisions.

He was considering his choices when Lennier walked into Medlab 3. Lennier took in the unusual scene and approached Stephen.

"You have quite a crowd gathered in the corridor. Do you mind telling me what this is all about?"

Stephen explained as best he could the events that led up to this moment, along with Lyta's startling discovery.

"I'm not positive it will work, but I have an idea that may bring Marcus back."


	2. Part 2

Part 2

Zack Allen was troubled by the reports he was getting. He knew he would need to disperse the huge crowd gathered outside of Medlab. He had been informed that Marcus Cole was responsible for the gathering, or rather, Susan Ivanova was. The sound of her voice yelling from Medlab had stopped people in their tracks.

There were so many rumors going around the station. A dying Susan Ivanova had been brought back to Babylon 5. He knew that Marcus Cole had returned to be with Susan. When Stephen and Lyta had docked, Stephen had run off to Medlab, and Lyta had remained with Zack to fill him in. Lyta did not seem eager to go, with Stephen. Marcus was dead.

Zack had been stunned by the news. He liked Marcus. Granted, Marcus was a little too cocky, but he was a brave man, willing to give his life for the things he believed in. Obviously, Susan meant more to him than his own life. When Lyta finally left to see if she could be of any help to Stephen, Zack went Down Below. He had just exited the lift when he got the call to assist in the crowd dispersal.

When Zack got to the corridor near Medlab he discovered it was worse than he thought. It was so crowded it seemed as if half the inhabitants of the station were there. With his authority to back them up, security was able to clear the area.

Zack entered Medlab 3. Stephen was consulting with Lennier.

"I can keep his body functioning, but without some brain activity soon, I'm afraid any effort will be a waste."

"What are you proposing?" Lennier asked.

"This may sound crazy, but Laura Rosen used the machine to heal people. She sacrificed a little of her life to make them well. I'm going to give Marcus a little bit of my life and see if that makes a difference."

"Wait a minute, Doc," Zack put in, "That sounds pretty risky."

"I've been studying the machine for a long time now. I think this will work. I need to test the idea, and for Marcus' sake I can't wait any longer."

"Someone will need to operate the machine," Lennier said. "Let me be your test subject."

"I can't let you do that."

"You can't restore Marcus by yourself."

"Lyta," Stephen called, "are you sure Marcus is still here? I still can't get any confirmation on my sensors."

Lyta was now seated next to the bed. Susan was seated opposite her. Susan's arms were stretched across Marcus, her hands touching Lyta's hand.

"I can sense his thoughts, and Susan's thoughts. I am getting a vague impression from Susan of the two of them standing together."

"That's impossible!" Zack said.

"This is different from anything I've ever encountered. It seems spiritual, somehow, yet very real."

"It may have something to do with both Susan and Marcus being in a near death situation." Stephen replied.

"Susan, what are you sensing?" Stephen asked.

Susan gave no reply, her expression remained fixed.

"Lyta, can you contact her telepathically?"

((Susan)), Lyta called out.

(What is it, Susan?) Marcus asked.

(Lyta is speaking to my thoughts.)

(What is she saying?)

(She's trying to speak to you, Marcus. Can you hear her?)

(I only see you, Susan.)

(He can't hear you, Lyta.)

"Susan says Marcus can't hear me."

Zack looked at Susan. Her expression hadn't changed.

"Their souls are linked," Lennier said reverently, "you must let me help them."

"I can't unless I'm sure it's going to work. Watch the monitor, Lennier, and see if anything changes."

Stephen's medical staff, crowded in the doorway to Medlab 3, started to protest.

This was an untested, potentially dangerous experiment after all. Stephen was determined, and would not allow them to interfere. Stephen strapped himself to the machine and turned it on. He felt weak and sick. After a few moments, he turned it off.

(Susan, I'm feeling a bit stronger than I did a moment ago.)

(Stephen must have thought of some way to help you.)

(Why are you here, Susan?)

(I'm not sure where "here" is, but I couldn't let you die.)

(That's funny. I'm here because I couldn't let you die.)

Stephen unhooked himself and stood up weakly. Zack helped him into a chair.

"There has been a definite change on the monitor you asked me to watch," Lennier told him.

Stephen got up, and with Zack's help walked over to get a good look at the readings.

"It's working! I'm detecting a little brain activity."

A shout of excitement and congratulations went out from the gathered staff and bystanders. The atmosphere in Medlab went from sad and tense to joyous and hopeful.

Lyta slipped her hand out and walked over to Zack.

"They don't need my help anymore...I feel as if I'm intruding on what should be a private conversation. They've formed a mental link."

Stephen looked up from the monitor.

"I know Susan has telepathic abilities, but I wonder if Marcus doesn't have some, too."

"That would explain a few things," said Zack.

"What do you mean?" Lyta asked.

"Things I've noticed about the way he does his job. He seems to have great intuition and reflexes. Maybe it's more than that."

"Well, whatever it is, it's keeping him alive right now," Stephen replied.

"Since the procedure worked, will you allow me to make a small sacrifice, too?" Lennier asked.

"I can't do this by myself. I'm going to need some volunteers."

"I'll put the word out," Zack said.

"The more, the better," Stephen replied.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," Zack told Lyta as he left Medlab.

Stephen hooked Lennier to the machine. He switched it on for the briefest of time.

(There's something I need to ask you, Marcus.)

(Go ahead.)

(You once told me you were a virgin.)

(And you made a crack about unicorns.)

(Well, it is kind of unusual at your age!)

(Just because I'm a virgin, doesn't mean I don't have any passion. I don't want to waste it on the wrong girl.)

(The girl you told me about...Do I know her?)

(Rather well.)

Lennier took stock of himself after the transfer. He really didn't feel that much different.

"I'd like you to run the machine a little longer."

"Lennier, I can't gauge how much of your life energy I've taken."

"I haven't made enough of a sacrifice. Please Stephen, this is important to me."

Stephen switched the machine back on.

(Marcus, who is she?)

(Don't you know, Susan?)

(I think I've probably known for a long time, I just didn't want to acknowledge it. Everyone who's ever really meant something to me has left me, Marcus. Most of them have died.)

(Susan, I won't leave you if you say you want me to stay.)

(I've come here, Marcus, to try to get you to come back. I wouldn't have done that if I didn't want you. In this place I can't hide my true feelings.)

(I can't hide mine, either. I feel totally exposed to you on a level deeper than I've ever known.)

(Tell me, then, the truth.)

(I love you, Susan.)

Stephen turned on the switch. Lyta felt a draining of herself, and a type of euphoria. It was so satisfying to be part of Marcus' recovery. After her brief mental link with Susan, she knew that this was the right choice. She reached out her thoughts to Susan. She could sense Susan's feelings for Marcus. She withdrew from her probing, but as Stephen unhooked her, he noticed she was smiling.

"It gave me a good feeling, too. I'm glad I could do this to help them."

Lyta just smiled.

A line was beginning to form outside of Medlab.


	3. Part 3

Part 3

Lennier had left Medlab to spread the news of Marcus' need for donors among the Minbari and the Rangers on the station. He hardly needed to have bothered. The news had spread like a flash flood. People from both groups were already in line waiting to give the same sacrifice that Lennier felt so much satisfaction over giving.

Susan felt the brush of Lyta's mental touch.

(Lyta is trying to contact me again, I'm going to try to reach her.)

(Lyta?)

((Susan, Stephen has been able to reverse the drain on Marcus' life.))

(Yes, I know. I have sensed the growing strength of life in him.)

((I'm going to try to contact Marcus again.))

(Lyta is trying to reach out to you Marcus, can you sense her?)

(Yes, I sense something.)

((Marcus, Stephen is concerned about Susan. He thinks she should break the mental link now. I don't think she can do that if you don't let go.))

(Okay. I understand)

((Susan, you need to let go of Marcus now and come back to us. I know he's going to recover.))

Susan took Marcus' hand. It felt real, yet unreal at the same moment.

(You know I have to leave now. It isn't because I want to. I'll be there when you wake up. I know you know that I love you. I can't hide those feelings from you or even from myself. Return to me on the station where we can have a life together.)

(I'll be there.)

Susan Ivanova looked up and saw Zack hooked to the machine. Somehow he had never struck her before as someone who cared for anyone beside himself. People could surprise you. Susan let go of Marcus' hand and stood up weakly. She had no memory of sitting down in that chair. Someone must have brought it for her.

"Susan, you need some rest. After I unhook Zack I want you to come with me."

Susan followed Stephen back to Medlab 2. As she lay back on the bed, he turned the monitors on.

"I'm going to give you something to make sure you sleep," Stephen told her.

Stephen checked the corridor before going back to Medlab 3. The line of people waiting stretched on and on. It seemed as if almost everyone who had heard the news wanted to be part of this remarkable day. Stephen felt incredibly tired, but he couldn't allow another doctor to take on the full responsibility of the machine. Most of his staff had made a donation, anyway. After Lennier's donation, his staff had begun to assist him. It was a tedious process hooking and unhooking people to the machine. With this amount of volunteers, he only turned it on each time for a few seconds.

The time stretched endlessly. There must be things going on outside Medlab, but from Stephen's viewpoint, the other things didn't exist. No ships had docked bringing new casualties. Things must have calmed down on that front.

Every reading on Marcus seemed normal. Stephen had taken him off life support a long time ago. There were still plenty of volunteers, but Stephen didn't think they were necessary. Marcus was sleeping peacefully.

Lyta stepped into the French restaurant. The room was small, intimate, and beautifully decorated with impressionist art prints, and lots of greenery and flowers. It felt like a garden. The smell of gourmet food was incredible. Lyta looked around for Zack. He was seated in the back corner, talking with the waiter.

The place was full of people chatting about Marcus. Lyta could sense a closeness between people who were at best acquaintances. The room emanated the same type of euphoria she had felt. On her way to her table, the patrons smiled and exchanged pleasantries with her. It was the first time since she had come to the station that she felt truly welcome and accepted.

Zack got up from his chair and helped Lyta into her chair very formally. She had never really had a date with Zack before. At her place was a single red rose. Lyta, so unused to such attention, could only stammer a quiet thank-you.

"So how are things over in Medlab?" Zack asked.

"Marcus is in natural sleep, Stephen asked me to scan him before I left, and everything seems to be normal."

"How do you feel about scanning someone without permission? Now that you're part of Psi Corps again, I didn't think you could do that."

"The situation was a little different... I was under doctor's orders."

"Does Stephen think that when Marcus recovers there will be any brain damage?"

"It's hard to say. When I noticed that he still had thoughts, his mind was functioning, only at a level that Stephen couldn't measure. No, I'm sure Marcus will make a full recovery, and I know that Stephen believes that, too."

"You know, Lyta, it really felt great to give away a little part of myself. Stephen said he wasn't sure how much time I've taken off my life, but that it couldn't be too much."

"Well, Bester may get my body a few months earlier than I had planned, but I don't think I could have let Marcus die just to hold on to those last few months at the end of my life."

"I felt that way, too," Zack replied, "but what's this about Bester?"

"You know when I couldn't get a job I was in a tight place. It seemed the only option. As part of my return to legitimate status, I signed over my corpse -- but only if I die a natural death...Any other way and it might have been too much temptation for Bester."

"Why that scumbag! I ought to... "

"Please Zack," Lyta interrupted, "this has started out as such a great evening. Let's not let Bester spoil it for us."

Zack looked into Lyta's eyes and smiled.

"OK. Do you know what you'd like for dinner? I've heard that the Coq a la Marseilles is really good."

Lyta smiled back. "So you're not a connoisseur?"

"Nah, Garibaldi told me about this place months ago. I just never had a reason before to come here."

"And now you do?"

"I'd like to think so."

Stephen was asleep on the bed in Medlab 1. Lennier had come in to check on things, and discovered Stephen sleeping. He sat down in the chair next to the bed and began to pray quietly. He had started a ritual fast that afternoon and felt a little lightheaded. Part of the ritual was a time of prayer and meditation. He thought a lot about the events of the day, the meaning of life and sacrifice, and the joining of two souls. In his heart he longed for that type of bonding, but sadly, he knew it was impossible. She loved another, and that was her destiny. He would gladly have made the sacrifice Marcus made for Susan, but he wouldn't have wanted to be restored. The sacrifice was an honorable thing and there would have been nothing to come back for, only future heartache and the silencing of his own longings. Did she even know how he felt? Did she know how much he suffered in her happiness? Enough of these musings! He began to pray again.

Susan stirred in her drug enhanced sleep. She didn't feel refreshed. She had been dreaming about Marcus. They had been discussing their feelings for each other, rather primly. The intensity of feeling didn't mesh with holding hands. She longed for greater physical contact.

Susan opened her eyes and looked around. Here she was in Medlab, just as she thought. She looked at the chronometer. Night shift. Well, it certainly was quiet. She got out of bed and walked noiselessly out of Medlab 2. There was Stephen asleep in the Medlab 1 bed with Lennier asleep in the chair next to him. They were both covered by Medlab issue blankets.

The night nurse approached her.

"Commander Ivanova, you really should still be in bed." At Susan's stern look she added quickly," I suppose it would be okay if I set you up a chair in Medlab 3. He's doing fine."

Susan knew she meant Marcus. She could see him through the doorway. He had that boyish look of peaceful sleep on his face. Susan felt an inexplicable longing.

"Then I didn't just dream it?" She asked the night nurse, stupidly.

"Did you think you did?"

"I guess it seemed so unreal that I thought it must have been a dream."

"The whole day seemed unreal to me," the night nurse replied, "so I can understand what you mean. Would you like to sit with him?"

"I uh... yes," she said hesitantly, "and could you get me a cup of tea?"

"Sure thing."

The nurse put the chair next to the bed and handed Susan a blanket.

"I'll be back in a few minutes."

Susan sat back and evaluated herself. Had she really told Marcus that she loved him? Fear gripped her heart. She wasn't ready to love anyone...and yet it seemed so natural to love this man. Her need to touch him was so strong that she felt a painful longing caused by her own restraint. She needed to touch him, and she knew if she did all would be lost.

The nurse slipped in quietly and set the tea on the med tray next to the bed. She left Susan to her musings.

Susan closed her eyes and thought about the things Marcus had done to make her laugh -- like that silly chart explaining his place in the universe. She smiled to herself. She thought about his quick wit. Their relationship to this point had been littered with verbal sparring. She couldn't help but enjoy matching wits with him. And what about the sacrifice he had made on her behalf. Would any other man have done the same?

She looked at Marcus now. It would hardly be a chore to wake up to that face each morning. There was nothing unattractive in his appearance. He could even make a med gown look good. She had to look away.

What was she thinking? She had promised to be here when he awoke. Was she really such a coward that she couldn't face him, couldn't face herself and the desires of her heart? Get a grip, Ivanova. This was an easy decision, a right decision...but that intimate mental bond -- she needed to establish it again, to feel that close to someone again -- could she open herself up like that again? Susan didn't want anyone to see inside -- to know that she could be that vulnerable. If she couldn't trust her true self to the man who loved her enough to die for her, who could she trust? Did she really want to spend her life alone? She knew with certainty that she could not stay on this station with Marcus if she didn't forge that bond.

Susan reached out gently and picked up Marcus' hand. She opened her mind to him. There it was -- that familiar closeness. The rightness of that bond was overwhelming. Tears coursed down Susan's face as she embraced the bond. This time it was different. She had no visual picture, but she could sense the love that Marcus felt for her. She knew the intimacy of his heart.

Marcus began to stir. He opened his eyes and she was flooded with his thoughts. She quickly put up mental barriers so that she could function. She roughly dried her eyes on her blanket.

"Susan," he said weakly, "did you mean what you said to me after all?"

"I won't lie to you, Marcus. I have thought seriously about the possibilities. They scare me."

"A moment ago, when I first woke up, I could feel your confusion. Susan, I've never before known the inside of a person. I've never been telepathic. It certainly puts a twist on life."

"I think you must be a little telepathic, Marcus. I haven't felt any kind of mental bond with anyone since my mother died."

"Don't be afraid of me, Susan. Could you drop the mental walls - I'd like to try that telepathy again."

"Okay."

(Susan, can you hear this?)

(Yes, I hear you, and I sense the real you behind the words.)

(I sense the real you, too. Don't be afraid, Susan. I promise to take all this slowly if that's what you'd like.)

(You know what I'd like, Marcus.)

Marcus sat up and put his arms around Susan. As their lips touched he felt extreme pleasure. His own, and Susan's. Her lips were unbelievably soft. His fingers trembled as he caressed her face, her neck, her hair.

Susan felt Marcus' kiss in her, through her, to that very core of herself that must be her soul. It was enhanced by the multiplying of her feelings with his. It was intensely intimate and Susan responded with all of the passion of her nature. No intimacy in her life had ever felt this satisfying.

"Uh humm...I see that you're awake. I hate to break this up, but I'm going to need to ask some questions."

At the sound of Stephen's voice, Susan and Marcus jerked away from each other. To Susan, the separation left a void. She reached out with her thoughts.

(Marcus.)

She felt his warm presence filling that emptiness.

"Susan, if you move the chair over by the wall, I'll be able to get this done a lot faster. So Marcus, welcome back to the land of the living. Do you feel any different at all?"

As Stephen questioned Marcus, he checked the medlog, the monitors, and did a brief physical exam.

"If you mean have I lost mental function, I lost that when I became a Ranger. I have often been accused of not being in my right mind."

"I see you still have your sense of humor. Seriously, before I run the battery of cognitive tests tomorrow, I'd like to get some feedback from you on your experience."

"All right. What would you like to know?"

"What was that state like after the transfer?"

"I can't tell you, exactly. I don't have any frame of reference other than it was a bit like traveling in hyperspace."

"Were you alone?"

"I didn't feel alone, only drawn away from you all. That is until Susan came for me. I was able to hold on to this life because of her. How were you able to bring me back here?"

"It was a group effort. Your friends, associates, and even total strangers made a donation of life energy to restore the life you had given to save Susan. Marcus, hundreds of people came forward. In the end I had to turn away hundreds more when the donation was no longer needed."

The thought of all of those people making that sacrifice caused Marcus' eyes to well up. He had been through such an emotional upheaval that it was hard to maintain control. Susan, sensing this, sent him reassurance.

"I don't know how I can repay them all."

"Marcus, if you continue to live your life honorably and in service to others you will have repaid that debt with interest. Don't worry about it. Everyone who donated did it because it meant something to them to do it. The morale on this station has never been higher. Enough lecturing...there has been one definite change. I want to test your psi abilities."

"Before all of this happened, I was never telepathic."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"I can hardly be more than a P-1. The only person in Medlab I have any sense of is Susan."

"I still want to test you, but that can wait until tomorrow. I'm going to put you back to sleep, Marcus."

"Don't you think he's slept long enough?" Susan asked.

"After you go through your residency, I'll ask for your opinion."

Stephen got two tablets from the medical locker and two glasses of water.

"You need more sleep, too, Susan. Doctor's orders."

"Cheers!" Marcus said as he clanked Susan's water glass before taking his pill.

"Cheers," Susan replied. (He can separate us but I'll still be here with you, Marcus.)

(There are benefits to this ability)

"Now stop that, you two," Stephen said.

"How do you know that we're doing anything?" Marcus asked.

"You look guilty."

"Oh! Susan, try not to look so guilty next time."

"Me!"

"Come on, Susan," Stephen said, "time to take a nap."

The drug was beginning to take effect. Susan felt very sleepy. As Stephen helped her into bed, he winked and said, "Sweet dreams."


	4. Part 4

Part 4

Lieutenant Corwin was in C & C. Like most of the shift he felt tired, not just from giving the donation, though. He was just about to start his third duty shift. He couldn't rest until he had some answer to the message he had sent to Captain Sheridan. Being the senior officer on duty, no one could force him to give up his post, except Doctor Franklin, and he was too busy to notice.

About twenty minutes into the third shift, the communication link was made. Captain Sheridan was on the screen. Lieutenant Corwin could see Ambassador Delenn behind him.

"I'm sorry I couldn't contact you sooner. Things have been a little crazy here."

"They've been a little crazy here, too, sir."

"I got your message about Commander Ivanova. That's great news."

"Yes, sir. We are expecting her to return to duty in about a week. She and Marcus Cole are still in Medlab."

Delenn stepped forward.

"How is Marcus?" she asked.

"The report out of Medlab is that he will make a full recovery."

Delenn smiled, "That's wonderful."

"If all goes as planned here, we should be returning to the station by the time Commander Ivanova resumes her duties," the captain said. "Keep us posted. Things have quieted down here enough to send regular communications."

"Yes, sir, I will."

"By the way, I've asked Mr. Garibaldi to return to the station to take charge. He should be arriving in about six hours."

"Yes, sir."

"And Lieutenant, get some sleep. That's an order."

"Yes, sir, I'll get right on that."

It was past midday. Susan could hear Stephen whistling a popular tune in the next room. She reached out to Marcus. Yes, she could still make the connection. In fact, it seemed even easier. He was sleeping. Snoring, no doubt.

(I am not snoring!)

(I thought you were sleeping.)

(I was until you insulted me with your thoughts. Woke me right up. Besides, I never snore.)

(How would you know?)

(I did share a room with my brother.)

(That was a long time ago. Maybe you've changed.)

(You'd better hope that I haven't.)

(What's that supposed to mean? Is this some sort of proposition?)

(If I was going to give you some sort of proposition, It wouldn't be while we were arguing! I envision a candlelight dinner, maybe dancing...)

(I don't dance.)

(I'll teach you. Where was I...ah dancing, yes, and while we're dancing you'll whisper sweet nothings in my ear.)

(I would not!)

(Okay, how would you do it?)

(I like the part about the dinner.)

(Anything else?)

(Why are we discussing this, Cole? Don't you think it's a little too soon?)

(No, I don't. Actually, I'd rather do this face to face. Why don't you come in here?)

(I can't. I've got to check in with Corwin and go over station operations with him.)

(Coward!)

(You may be right.)

(Susan, I was only teasing.)

(Okay, I'll come visit for a few minutes, but I'm not ready to make commitments right now.)

Susan put up some mental barriers to Marcus' communication. On his part, Marcus respected this privacy and did not actively try to get past the barriers. He felt satisfied that she loved him and would come around to his way of thinking on the subject. He knew with certainty that she was his soul-mate, destined to be his life-partner. If he didn't rush things, didn't irritate her too much, maybe she would see the logic of it sooner than she thought.

He knew Susan from the inside out. He knew her insecurities, her loneliness, her mistrust of relationships. But he also sensed her trust in him and that love for him that was buried so deeply. He just had to dig it out. He had plenty of time.

Susan walked in. She saw Marcus smiling to himself. She wondered what he was thinking -- no, don't even go there Ivanova.

"Why don't you pull up a chair? I was about to order lunch. I could ask for candles if you'd like," he teased.

Susan laughed. "Somehow candles and Medlab rations don't mesh with the picture you were painting."

"You do have your link. We could order out."

"Stephen would love that!"

"What would Stephen love?" Stephen asked as he entered Medlab 3.

"To join us for lunch." Marcus replied.

"I've had mine."

"Here?" Susan asked.

"No, I had a sandwich delivered from the deli."

"Any chance you might get us one?" asked Marcus.

"Sorry. You know the routine, both of you. It isn't like this is your first visit to Medlab."

"It was worth a try." Marcus replied.

"I'll have the nurse bring you both lunch. Afterwards I have to run some tests on both of you before I can release you from Medlab. So there are no surprises, you are both on medical leave for a week -- no matter how healthy the tests show you to be...don't argue with me, Susan. I know that look. You almost died."

"What about the station? Corwin needs my help."

"Not to worry. Michael's back and he's been running C & C all morning, so you have no excuses."

"I guess I have no excuses."

"Is it so hard to take some time off and relax?"

"You have no idea."

"I think that's a reference to me, but I'll try not to get too insulted," said Marcus.

"I'll just leave you two to work this out." Stephen said with a grin, as he left to catch up on his medlogs.

Lunch actually wasn't too bad. Susan kept her mental barriers up and they talked as friends. Marcus was wise enough not to remind Susan that he knew what was really in her heart. Their friendship was as important as the desire they both felt. That friendship would sustain their relationship through whatever lay ahead for them. When they had finished lunch, Susan stood up to leave. Marcus reached over, took her hand, and pulled her toward him. When she didn't resist, he gently kissed her.

Susan didn't mind the kiss. She actually hoped he would kiss her again. But this time it had no fire, no power to it the way the first kiss had. She knew he was letting her initiate the passion. She broke off the kiss and looked at him. As she looked into his eyes she could see his restrained passion, or did she feel it through the bond? She was sure that the opening of her mind to him was the only way to reclaim the ecstasy of yesterday. She craved it.

Marcus was suddenly engulfed in her passionate thoughts. He pulled her to him, and kissed her fiercely, hungrily. Not just her lips, but her face and her neck.

In a moment it was over. She had pushed him away.

"I don't know how to deal with this, Marcus."

"I know. The joy of this is so overwhelming it's painful. I felt this kiss even stronger than the last time."

"I know you did. We only kissed for a few moments and I was in sensory overload."

"I think we can control that - given enough practice," he replied.

She threw his pillow at him.

"Ouch! Seriously Susan, I have never had such incredible intimacy in my life, and I sense that you haven't either. Am I wrong?"

"You know you're right."

"I'm right about us, too," he said softly.

"Give me a little space to think about it."

"I'm trying."

"You certainly are." She grinned and left for Medlab 2.

In all of her experiences in Medlab, Susan had never had so many tests in one day. The cheerfulness of the Medlab staff had the opposite effect on Susan. She felt irritable and annoyed. Stephen seemed to enjoy her irritation. When he asked her a series of very personal questions, she knew his seriousness was a facade. He was laughing on the inside! How irritating! The one person Susan was trying not to think of was at the foremost of everyone's conversation.

Marcus! She loved him, she couldn't deny that anymore, but where was their relationship going? She knew that Marcus wasn't looking for temporary satisfaction. She knew he regarded her as his soul-mate. He really had no secrets from her anymore. When the barriers were down, she had sensed the totality of his feelings and desires for their future. She knew that given any encouragement on her part, he would propose. She didn't want that...yet. She needed a little bit of space, and she needed to learn how to control herself. There was only one person on the station who could help her do that. Susan picked up her com-link.

When Lyta arrived at Medlab, she saw Stephen overseeing Marcus' tests. Susan was in her room pacing around. The strength of Susan's inner turmoil hit Lyta like a wave. Well, it was hardly surprising. The more Susan tried to suppress her desires, the longer she would battle herself.

"Lyta, I need some telepathic advice."

"I've never been in love with another telepath, so I'm not sure how much help I can give you, but I'll do my best."

"Since Marcus and I have formed this telepathic bond, it's been hard to have any level of physical intimacy."

Lyta looked at Susan, but didn't comment.

"Okay..." Susan sighed, "He kissed me twice, and each time I felt like I would explode from the passion of it - from the telepathic reflections of the passion... I take that back. The second time he kissed me - at the start I had the barriers up and it felt like a regular kiss - but I don't want that, either."

"What do you want?"

"I liked the intimacy...but I'm afraid any future sexual relationship is going to kill me."

"No telepath ever died from love."

"You sure about that?"

"Yes, I am, and I know now how to help you. If you want the intimacy, you'll have to let the barriers down, but you'll have to put up some filters."

"How do I do that?"

"I can only show you telepathically."

"Go ahead."

"Thank-you for trusting me."

"I think we've been through too much the last couple of days for me not to trust you."

"Thanks. Your trust and friendship mean a lot to me."

"Me, too," Susan replied.

Lyta left Susan to go speak with Marcus. She found him up and showered, sitting in a chair talking to Zack.

"Oh hi!" Zack said as she entered the room, "I just got off my duty shift and I was waiting to ask if you'd like to come by and watch an old vid with me...I'll even make dinner."

"You can cook?"

"Not as well as the chief, but I do have a couple of specialties."

"That sounds great. I don't have any plans for tonight. I am going to have to ask you to wait outside. I need to advise Marcus professionally."

A look of worry crossed Marcus' face.

"You needn't be concerned, this isn't going to hurt a bit."

"Well, in that case, I'm ready," Marcus replied.

"I'll talk to you later," Zack said to Marcus, "and don't forget the tip."

"What tip?" Lyta asked when they were alone.

"He told me about this French restaurant he knew. Lots of candlelight."

Lyta blushed.

Michael Garibaldi whistled as he walked down the corridor toward Medlab. His duty shift had run smoothly and he was looking forward to teasing Ivanova. Stephen had informed him that she would be released from Medlab within the hour. They had a lot to catch up on.

As he walked through the station, people greeted him without animosity. It helped that Sheridan had sent a message explaining the mind control to be broadcast station-wide before he arrived, and rebroadcast several times during his first duty shift. It was embarrassing to have been used by Bester, but that was beyond his control. Michael was back where he belonged, and life couldn't be better. He was expecting Lise to join him here in a couple of days.

Susan was ready to leave when Michael arrived. She was getting last minute instructions from Stephen.

"Ivanova, you look great!" he said as he gave her a quick hug. "There was a time when I didn't know if I'd ever see you again."

"It's good to be back. Hey, wait a minute, Garibaldi. I need to tell Marcus good-bye, and then I'll be right with you."

Garibaldi turned to talk with Stephen as Susan entered Medlab 3.

"Hi," she said a little sadly.

"Hi yourself. I see you're leaving me."

"I've been discharged and I need to check on a few things."

"It's been great being roommates with you here in Medlab. I'll miss it."

"Me too," she replied, "but I'll be back to tuck you in tonight," she added hastily.

"Sounds like fun. Stephen says I should get discharged tomorrow morning."

"Yes, he told me. I'll see you later."

She turned to leave.

"Susan, wait."

He walked to where she was standing and gathered her in a strong embrace. This time she felt in control as she opened up her mind and heart. She felt his painful longing, how he already missed her, the things he hadn't said. He loved her with a pure love. How could she not respond? How could she not let him feel her own love and desire? She was awash in sensations, and it felt great.

"I love you, Susan," he whispered. Then he kissed her on the forehead and released her.

"I'm looking forward to tonight," she said.

"Me, too."

Susan spent her night tossing. She couldn't sleep. After leaving Marcus in Medlab with that last kiss goodnight, she returned to her quarters feeling lonelier than she had felt since her mother died. She needed his physical comfort, not this separation. He was right. She could no longer be happy without total commitment. She hated it when he was right.

She ached for him. Susan got out of bed. Two more hours until morning. She couldn't stay here. She got dressed and went to Medlab.

Marcus felt Susan's presence, both mentally and physically as he awoke that morning. He couldn't help it. She was laying next to him on the bed, her head on his chest. He stroked her hair.

"You awake, love?" he asked softly.

"Mmmm."

"How long have you been here?"

She checked the chronometer sleepily. "About three hours."

"Why did you come so early?"

"I had to tell you something."

"What?"

"I agree."

"Agree to what?"

"Your proposal."

"Susan, I haven't proposed anything yet."

"Yes, you have. In here." She tapped his forehead.

"You know I can't help that."

"Yes, but regardless of that I still agree. I can't live without sleep, and I can't sleep without you."

"You know this isn't how I wanted to ask you."

"I know, but I don't want to wait for dinner."

"How about breakfast, then. I need to get cleaned up, and you could stand some freshening up yourself."

"Thanks."

"Well, if I'm going to do this, then I want it done properly."

"It's not necessary."

"It's important to me, Susan. And besides, I want to set a good example for the grandkids."

She gave him another whack with the pillow.

"Ouch! You're getting too good at this. I might have to ban pillows from our quarters."

She whacked him again.

"Is a half an hour long enough?" she asked laughingly.

"Make it an hour, and you've got yourself a date."

"It can't take you that long to get dressed."

"No. it can't," he said mysteriously.

After she left he called Lennier, gave him his passcode, and asked him to retrieve something from his quarters. Marcus took a fast shower, dressed in his clothes, and was ordering breakfast from the nurse when Lennier arrived. Lennier had in one hand a candle from his own room, and in his other hand a small box from Marcus' room. He fished out a music crystal from his robe.

"Is this everything you need?" Lennier asked.

"Yes, that will just about do it."

"I don't understand your strange earth rituals."

"This is an old one. When someone proposes marriage, it's supposed to be romantic."

"Are you going to be married, then?"

"Yes, she's already agreed."

"You do the ritual after she agrees?"

"Not usually, but in this case, yes. It's actually going to be an enjoyable time. I already know she won't refuse me, so I have nothing to worry about."

"I see."

"Lennier, when we have the ceremony, will you stand up with me?"

"What does that entail?"

"I'll give you a gold band, and you'll give it back to me when the minister asks for the ring. You'll also be one of the two official witnesses...for the record."

"That sounds easy enough. When is the ceremony?"

"I'll let you know."

When Susan arrived back in Medlab, she almost laughed aloud. Marcus had arranged the medtray between two chairs. There was breakfast. In the center of the tray was a lit candle. Soft music was playing, and the lights were lowered.

Marcus met her at the door, and with a sweep of his arm said, "Enter milady."

He helped her into her chair. It was hard for Susan to eat breakfast knowing what he had on his mind. Marcus for his part had a hard time concentrating on his meal. His mind was filled with thoughts of her. She had changed into a flowing green dress, and she looked more beautiful than he had ever seen her.

"Well?" she said as she finished her last bite. He was staring at her, after all.

"Yes, ummm, just a second."

He got on his knees before her chair. He took a small box from his pocket and handed it to her.

"Susan, I love you more than anything in this universe. I can't imagine living my life without you. Will you marry me?"

"Yes, of course I will. I wouldn't have put on this dress if I'd planned to refuse you,"she teased. "Seriously," she continued, "I had never planned to marry anyone, but I love you, Marcus Cole. My life would be empty without you."

She opened the box and looked at the ring. It was a full caret diamond in an old-fashioned setting.

"Where did you get this?" she asked.

"Family heirloom. It last belonged to my mother."

He took the ring out of it's box, and placed it on her finger. It was about one size too large. He kissed her hand. It felt electric.

"So what kind of ceremony would you like?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter to me as long as it isn't Minbari. All those rituals would make me crazy. I don't know how John can stand it."

"No Minbari's out. You'd have to go too long without sleep, and by the time we finally got to the vows you might be so grouchy, you'd say no."

She laughed.

"How about Brother Theo, then."

Susan thought about it. "I'm comfortable with that."

"When Stephen lets me out of here, we'll go see him."

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Epilogue

They were married that evening in the Garden. Even with the short notice the wedding went smoothly. The place was full of people who had come to witness the event. Even though Delenn could not make it, she sent Susan a warm personal message, and the offer a beautiful white Minbari gown as her gift (John attached his own message, with advice and predictions about Susan and Marcus' married life that had Susan crying with laughter).

Susan accepted the gown. She spent the last two hours before her wedding with Lyta, getting dressed and prepared. When Susan walked up the aisle to meet Marcus, it was Lyta she followed. Lyta, whom Susan had also learned to love and trust.

After the ceremony Susan, Marcus, and about forty of their closest friends had a small reception at Chez Francois. Zack had reserved the restaurant for the evening.

"I see you managed a candlelight dinner, after all," Susan said to her new husband.

"Actually it was Zack, but I would have - if he hadn't thought of it first."

Susan and Marcus Cole went to the Zocalo the next afternoon to get Susan's rings adjusted. The newlyweds walked arm in arm, exuding that glorious oneness that only newlyweds possess. Many people observing them smiled knowingly.

Susan had never known such happiness. Marcus was able to fulfill all of her imaginings. She didn't need to ask. He knew what she wanted and needed. Susan couldn't imagine a life without Marcus, their communication was so deep she felt they were one soul. Her cynical nature told her that life together would not always be easy, but her heart told her that there was nothing more important than the joy of this new life.


End file.
